


Love (in all it's boring simplicity)

by verlore_poplap (orphan_account)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:33:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/verlore_poplap
Summary: "Romantism is only an intellectual movement."





	Love (in all it's boring simplicity)

It wasn't love at first sight. Or second or third. It wasn't hate at first sight either. It wasn't cosmic or angsty or enemies to friends to lovers. It just _was._

One day Isak was standing against a wall at a party and Even walked by to get to the bathroom. When he came back out, he leaned next to Isak and started talking to him about nothing in particular. Isak can't even remember what. They were ten minutes into the conversation when he realized that, despite knowing Even for two years, this was probably their longest conversation. They laughed a lot and it was fun. Even was so funny. How did Isak never notice how funny he was? He also smelled really great. 

They didn't have sex that night, they didn't even kiss. But Isak left with a warmth his stomach, feeling like he was missing Even already. He'd found something in Even that he didn't expect to find. They texted, went out on a date two days later, then another one, they slept together and it was great. It was fucking wonderful. 

None of their friends were surprised when they told them about their relationship. Apparently there was some betting pool going on about when they'd realize they were in love or something which was completely ridiculous. Isak wasn't in love with Even. 

Or rather, he wasn't before they started dating. He fell pretty fast though. Even did too and a year into their relationship, Isak was convinced he'd found the one. Even wasn't. This was...this was a problem. 

"You want to break up."

It wasn't a question because Isak wasn't dumb. Even had said it to him, literally a minute ago, _I want to break up._ Isak didn't have a problem understanding the words. They made perfect sense. Besides the fact that they fucking didn't at all because they loved each other and, just yesterday, everything was fine. Everything was _fine_ and now Even's breaking up with him. 

"What the fuck, Even?"

"Isak," his boyfriend - ex-boyfriend apparently - sighed heavily, put upon and exhausted. Like this conversation was taking _so much_ out of him. What a prick. Isak loved him so much. "This just isn't working."

Well, that was complete bullshit. 

Here's the thing with Isak and Even-- they work. They work so well. They get along so well it's ridiculous and they genuinely like each other's company. They're pretty much each other's best friend and that was...it was love, okay? It made sense. _This._ Even ending things. It made zero sense. 

"I just think we deserve more than what we have. We deserve passion, Isak. We don't-- we hardly ever argue, did you know that? We don't ever fight."

"We fought this morning," Isak said, even though he had no idea how arguing with your SO translated to passion. Even's thought patterns were weird and - while Isak usually loved that about him - this sucked. So much. 

"We fought about me not using a cover when I microwave left overs, Isak. You just told me to do it and I said I always forget and you said that I don't even try to remember and then I said I did but you didn't believe me and you got mad and pouty about it and looked really cute so I kissed you and we had sex. The whole thing lasted ten minutes!"

"Even," Isak pinched the bridge of his nose. "I still don't see the problem here. So we don't fight, so what? What's wrong with that?"

"It's just not... Christ, it's not _epic,_ Isak. I want that. I want a great love," and as if that wasn't enough, he added, "I want more than getting along really well."

Fucking _ouch._

So like...ever since the words left Even's mouth;

_I want to break up,_

Isak's been trying to keep the hysterics at bay. He didn't feel like he needed to throw things (he did) or cry (he wanted to) or feel like his heart was being ripped to shreds (it was) because Even was just being stupid. Isak had no doubt about that. 

He just didn't know that Even could be so cruel. 

"I still want us to be friends," Even said. "You're the most important person in my life, Isak."

"Of course I am, idiot. You're in love with me."

Isak was sure of that. Just a few minutes ago...he was so fucking _sure._

Even sighed. "That's not the point."

He didn't deny it. Maybe to be nice, who knows. But Isak took heart in that. _Sort of. ___

__"Oh, what the fuck ever," Isak was getting really mad. It was probably overdue but when he got mad, he said stupid shit. Things he didn't mean. "Fine, whatever. I'll go away and you can have your epic tragic love story with some art nerd from your school or whatever. Fuck you, Even."_ _

__Shit, he was crying. Even reached for him, to comfort him or whatever, but Isak was done. (He really wasn't anywhere close to done.) Even was being ridiculous and it fucking sucked. Isak left with his bags an hour later._ _

__He'll never forget the look on Even's face when he closed the door in Isak's face. He looked sure-- so sure he was doing the right thing. It made Isak so sad. He was fucking worried as well. He wanted to tell Even to call him, if he needed anything. That he would always be there for him, always love him and it was true, obviously, but he just couldn't get the words out. So instead he just said goodbye with as much conviction as he could muster. It wasn't a lot. He'd never be able to say goodbye to Even and mean it._ _

__"Goodbye, Isak."_ _

__Even meant it. Or he thought he did._ _

__Which was weird since he didn't seem to understand the whole point of breaking up. Seriously. Even really sucked at it._ _

__"Oh my God, what do you _want?"__ _

__They'd been "broken up" for nearly a month-- in which Even spent most of his time trying to call Isak or badgering him between his college classes. He refused to take any of it back, the break up, the bullshit about wanting _more_ but he insisted he couldn't move on until they resolved things between them. What a crock of shit. _ _

__"I just...can we just talk?" Even looked so sad and pathetic that Isak just wanted to hug the fuck out of him. It was so fucking annoying._ _

__"Are you ready to admit that this is stupid and you miss me?"_ _

__"I do miss you but this isn't stupid."_ _

__"You really want to love someone else?" Isak asked. Even was going to say yes. He knew it. Even knew it. It wasn't even remotely close to the truth._ _

__"Isak, I can't get back together with you."_ _

__"Jesus Christ, then leave me the fuck alone!"_ _

__Even did-- for like twelve hours-- in which Isak cried a lot and ate ice cream like this was some sort of 90's romantic comedy. The thought crossed his mind, _What if this is Even's way of making them into an epic tragic love story._ The idea pissed him off so much that he wanted to go over to their (it was still theirs, okay) apartment and hit Even over the head with something. They really needed to talk and like, _communicate,_ but talking to Even was like talking to an obsessive and delusional, extremely romantic brick wall. _ _

__When Even started calling and texting again, Jonas got fed up and confiscated Isak's phone._ _

__"He's a complete fucking asshole."_ _

__Isak didn't disagree. In a lot of ways Even was the polar opposite of an asshole. He was the sweetest, kindest person Isak knew. But about this...yeah. About this he was being a total dick and yet..._ _

__Isak couldn't talk shit talk his future husband to Jonas. That just wasn't him._ _

__"You deserve better, Isak."_ _

__"No one's better than Even."_ _

__"Your obsession with him worries me. He broke up with you."_ _

__Isak's phone buzzed in Jonas' hand._ _

__"He's obsessed with me too," Isak observed._ _

__"This isn't healthy."_ _

__"Apparently our set up was _too_ healthy and Even's trying to fuck that up."_ _

__"He's succeeded."_ _

__It was probably true but Isak didn't want to believe it._ _

__Then Even got a girlfriend._ _

__It was two months since they "broke up" and he was still trying his best to "be friends" with Isak and he was sleeping with some random girl. It felt like the last straw. It wasn't really-- because this is _Even and Isak_ and-- they belong together _always_ but Jesus Christ, it felt like it. _ _

__"Why are you doing this?" Isak asked him. They were sitting across from each other in a coffee shop that Even had basically forced him inside. Okay, no, Isak was lying to himself. He went willingly...easily. Because Even was the love of his life and he missed him so much he could hardly breathe sometimes. Then Even told him he had a girlfriend._ _

__"Is she your passionate love affair then? The one you've been waiting for your whole life?"_ _

__"I don't know that yet," Even said._ _

__Fuck. _No._ Isak couldn't do this shit anymore._ _

__"I need time," he shook his head. Girlfriend. Even has a girlfriend. Isak was in love with someone who had a girlfriend. This shit was not okay. "We'll probably be friends again. Like you want but I just...I need to recalibrate."_ _

__"I'm sorry," Even said. For the first time since he imploded Isak's existence, he was apologising. It felt true, genuine... but it wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly enough._ _

__"Okay," Isak said._ _

__They talked about a half an hour more, not about them or anything like that. Mostly about Even's upcoming showcase and Isak's exam prep and Jonas and Isak's mom and Even's sister's pregnancy and other shit. Isak could have pretended like they weren't over, that everything was fine between them, but he didn't want to do that. He needed to get used to the new normal...so he kept it in the forefront of his mind the whole time they made polite conversation._ _

___Even wasn't his._ _ _

__Jonas found him sobbing two hours later and threatened to go kick the shit out of Even. Isak was tempted to let him. He was _really_ tempted. _ _

__He wasn't interested in seeing someone else. Even was doing enough of that for the both of them._ _

__It seemed like every week it was someone new. For someone claiming to be looking for his true epic love, Even was being a bit of a hoe. Or maybe that's how he was conducting his search. It burned inside of Isak. That other people were touching what was meant to be his and his alone. He hated that he still thought of Even like that but he couldn't help it._ _

__Even still loved him. Maybe he wasn't in love with him anymore, who the fuck knew. Isak certainly didn't. But they stayed in each other's lives. It didn't help with Isak getting over him, not at all, but it was what it was._ _

__His name was Nathan and Isak knew he could love him from the moment they met. It was the shit that Even apparently dreamed about-- eyes meeting across a crowded room for the first time, talking and feeling like you'll known them for the rest of your life, instant sexual chemistry and sex that blew your mind. The whole shebang. Nathan wasn't anything that Even was and that helped a lot. Isak loved him in a different way. He knew it was the only way he'd ever be able to love someone who wasn't Even._ _

__Then came the day when Isak and Even realized they had been broken up longer than they were ever together. Even had a boyfriend then, one that he loved about as much as Isak loved Nathan. And somehow it felt like they were still irrevocably in love with each other. The whole thing was as tragic and romantic as Even always wanted it to be. It made Isak sick to his stomach._ _

__Nathan propsed. Isak said no. Even asked him why._ _

__"I'm not marrying anyone who isn't you."_ _

__Even looked shocked as fuck when Isak said that... and maybe that made sense. Isak hadn't given any indication that he was still hung up on him, not for months. He'd been doing his best to hide it. Apparently he'd done an amazing job._ _

__"I didn't know you still felt that way about me."_ _

__Isak shrugged. He was tired. So fucking tired and he was broken over his break up with Nathan. He didn't want it to end that way. He didn't want it to end at all. Fucking Even._ _

__"Just pretend I didn't say that," Isak said. "...please," he added. It wasn't pride. Or guilt. He wasn't sure what it was but he just needed Even to leave him alone about this._ _

__Even did. They watched two movies and fell asleep on the couch together and Isak went home and didn't cry over Nathan or Even or anything._ _

__They were still best friends so it made sense, two years later, that Even asked him to be his best man._ _

__They hadn't addressed their past relationship in such a long time. Isak didn't know if Mari, Even's fiancee and soon-to-be wife, even knew they had been together for a year during their friendship or what. Most of their mutual friends seemed to have forgotten as well. Isak tried not to think about that too much. But this was too much, even for him. Even for this situation. Even for them._ _

__"I can't do that. I'm sorry but I _can't."__ _

__"Why not?" Even asked, seemingly genuinely perplexed. Isak saw straight through his bullshit. No one knew Isak the way Even did. He knew Isak down to his core, his fucking soul. He knew exactly why Isak couldn't stand up there in front of a God he didn't believe in, a girl he pretended not to hate, a man he loved with his whole heart and various other people in attendance._ _

__Isak might as well say it anyway. It was stupid and counter productive but it was the truth._ _

__"Because you should be marrying me and you fucking know it."_ _

__Even called off the wedding._ _

__They didn't talk for two weeks._ _

__When he showed up at Isak's apartment, he looked pathetic and sad and hopeful._ _

__"Come inside," Isak sighed._ _

__Even hesitated. "It's been four years."_ _

__"Yeah. That's long enough, don't you think?"_ _

__"Isak, I'm so so-- "_ _

__"Stop," Isak cut him off._ _

__He didn't need apologies even though he was owed a million. He'd collect on them eventually._ _

__"Just...tell me if we're epic enough for you now."_ _

__"We've always been," Even said. "You know that. You've always known that."_ _

__That was true enough but--_ _

__"You broke my heart, Even. I don't know if I can trust you not to do it again."_ _

__It was a while before Even spoke again._ _

__"Romantism is only an intellectual movement."_ _

__Isak didn't know what the fuck that meant._ _

__"It means," Even helpfully supplied, stepping closer into Isak's space. Closer than he'd been in years. "It means that I don't want some sort of artistic ideal of true love. I just want love. I just want you."_ _

__"We'll still be fucking boring," Isak said. He didn't know why. This was everything he'd wanted for years. "We'll never be vicious to each other, and we'll take care of each other... and it will be boring even if the sex is increadible. It will be easier than you want it to be. We'll fit so well together. There's nothing tragic about how we love each other."_ _

__"I don't need that," Even said._ _

__"Liar," Isak accused._ _

__Even shook his head. "I'm supposed to marry you," he said. "It makes sense."_ _

__"It does," Isak agrees. "It makes complete sense but since when isn't that a bad thing?"_ _

__"Since I realized that I just...I just love you," Even said. "I always have...so much. I love you."_ _

__That wasn't new information or anything but, for some reason, Even was acting like it was._ _

__"Okay," Isak gave a nod of his head._ _

___"Okay?"_ Even questioned._ _

__"What?" Isak asked, more than a little resentful. He'd have to work on that. "Too anticlimactic for you?"_ _

__"No, not at all," Even insisted immediately. He was probably lying. Christ. It was going to take a while for Isak to trust him again._ _

__He felt like weeping at how much it would be worth it._ _

__"I love you," he told Even. It was such a simple truth. One that had been taken for granted for so long._ _

__"I love you too," Even said and Isak never doubted that for a second. He just doubted Even._ _

__He figured he didn't have to anymore._ _

__They got married and had two kids, they were in love and happy and none of it was tragic or as epic as Even's previous obsessions. It was them. Just them._ _

__Love, in all it's boring simplicity, for the rest of their lives._ _

__But truthfully-- that was so much more than okay._ _


End file.
